Fifth Gear is really boring these days
Why is Five's 'Fifth Gear' such complete crap?
OK, so it's a straight knock-off of BBC's 'Top Gear'. Same open-plan studio environment, same silly stuff happening to cars they don't like, exact same shots and camera angles of fast cars tracking fast round a fast round track. Even most of the journalists started out on Top Gear itself. Yet the original show's still a riot after at least a decade, while Fifth Gear is just what you have on to demonstrate you're a member of the male species.
Yet somehow, Fifth Gear hasn't 'got it'. It's trying too hard, too self-consciously in awe of its progenitor while pretending it doesn't care. The writing is dull. The presenting is self-absorbed. They just don't look like they're having a good time, even when they're hurling £150K machines down a European road.
And saddest of all, Vicky isn't the babe she once was. 5-10 years ago she was a hyperbabe: a hot girl with chiselled features and a voice affecting a bit of roughness while boasting an incredible pedigree. But these days, approaching her mid-thirties - VBH is a lot rounder about the hips, no more miniskirts or tossing of hair as a window slides upwards, fewer innuendoes swished back at her audience. Oh Vicky, what happened to you?
OK, so it's a straight knock-off of BBC's 'Top Gear'. Same open-plan studio environment, same silly stuff happening to cars they don't like, exact same shots and camera angles of fast cars tracking fast round a fast round track. Even most of the journalists started out on Top Gear itself. Yet the original show's still a riot after at least a decade, while Fifth Gear is just what you have on to demonstrate you're a member of the male species.
Yet somehow, Fifth Gear hasn't 'got it'. It's trying too hard, too self-consciously in awe of its progenitor while pretending it doesn't care. The writing is dull. The presenting is self-absorbed. They just don't look like they're having a good time, even when they're hurling £150K machines down a European road.
And saddest of all, Vicky isn't the babe she once was. 5-10 years ago she was a hyperbabe: a hot girl with chiselled features and a voice affecting a bit of roughness while boasting an incredible pedigree. But these days, approaching her mid-thirties - VBH is a lot rounder about the hips, no more miniskirts or tossing of hair as a window slides upwards, fewer innuendoes swished back at her audience. Oh Vicky, what happened to you?
posted by chrisworth at 11:33 PM
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