Scarlett does NOT have a big bum

It really makes me angry when tabloids start making stories out of things that just aren't there. I mean, LOOK at her! The classiest girl in Hollywood doesn't have anything remotely RESEMBLING an oversized rear end; in fact, it's a terrific, shapely ass that's all woman (and I say this as a man whose natural taste is for anorexically thin women). Of course, where else could such an article appear but the Daily Mail - bastion of foam-flecked Little Englander outrage, which hypocritically intersperses lofty ideals of equality and intellectualism with 'gotcha' pics of celebrity cellulite. The worst newspaper in the world ... isn't taking it up a notch.