Awesome tunnel camp

Warwick Skydive's 2008 Tunnel Camp took place this week, and it was incredible. Despite all those jumps from real aeroplanes, this was the point where I actually learned to fly. (That's me, in the fetching light-blue-with-yellow-piping number.)

It was my first time in a vertical wind tunnel, and - whoa. I'd expected something resembling a garage; when we got close, I realised we seemed to be homing in on what looks like a nuclear missile storage facility. The ex-MOD tunnel is a privatised military site, a cylinder fifteen metres wide and forty high, with an inner 'core' five metres wide that goes most of the way up, topped with a vast aeronautical engine running at 750rpm, all day, every day. That's where you fly. It's the biggest indoor skydiving facility in the world, and next to it, little tourist attractions like the one at Milton Keynes look like Fisher Price toys.

The construction quality is amazing. I'd estimate the steel cylinder is eight centimetres thick, and the tunnel itself is brick and concrete lined. Of course it's noisy in the chamber, but outside conversation is still possible, and in the outer ring, where you relax between flights, it's barely more than traffic noise; there's not even vibration. Doors are oval and made of thick steel, like a submarine's. The site makes excellent use of technology - cams and screens everywhere, plus electronic timetabling - and you can download the vids onto a handy USB. It's terrific.

I had 23 minutes spread over the day, and went from nervously floating at ground level to hovering confidently two metres up, spinning reasonable 360s, and moving forwards and backwards, balancing on the 120mph updraft and turning my body into a wing. Brilliant. I can't wait to get back there.

If I'm spamming you, I'm really not

Some dastardly spammer is spoofing my email address and sending about a billion spams an hour that look as if they're coming from me. They're not, and Google is working on this right now (I use Gmail for my POPs.) While you're deleting their spam, spare a thought for me, who's had to delete 1000 'Out of Office autoreplies' since getting back to campus...

Sucks like a Dyson on steroids

This sucks. Too many goodbyes, too much work, surrounded by packing boxes that only remind me this life is about to end. I'm fighting the dark pool of sadness welling up inside me, but it hurts.

Somehow, this year's been about more than an MBA; it's been about constructing a different life, something humanscale and close-knit instead of the broadness and infinity of cities like London. And although it's contained some very dark moments, I think it's been the best year of my life. I've trekked across scorching deserts and jumped out of aeroplanes just to feel something, but sometimes all you need is a little room on a greenfield campus and the warmth of a great institution around you to feel part of something amazing.

And now it's almost over.

This sucks.

Obama fading?

Hmmmmm. A crowd of only 4000 people when Obama appeared with Biden? Two things could be going on here.

The first: Obama may be showing signs of timidity. By choosing an establishing Washingtonian for his VP, has he done that most dangerous of things - sacrificed courage for pragmatism? If so, he's doomed. Obama is nothing except the hope for change; if he loses that respect, there's really nothing left.

The second is that perhaps most people have already decided on Obama (or McCain) and don't see any point taking part in the festivities. Obama fatigue has set in. The next ten weeks will be frustrating for both candidates, but better for McCain. My call has always been that Obama would lead the race, but McCain would win. Either outcome, of course, is far better for the world than the disastrous Bush/Cheney years.

But it's always dangerous reducing American elections to simple better/worse overviews when the country is so vast and varied... from the East Coast's blue liberal intellectualism to the uneducated hopelessness of the red interior, where millions live in near-third-world poverty. And of course, the differences between the USA's left and right are far smaller than in Britain, even after years of centrism from both main parties. Most Americans know that the differences in actual policies after the next election will be tiny.

From the outside looking in, it's obvious Obama will be far better for the world as a whole - presenting America the way it sees itself, as a beacon of hope rather than the frightened bully so obvious for seven years. But that doesn't mean a whole lot to a non-college-educated working pauper in the deep south, who's seen dignified blue-collar jobs depart and his city, home, and credit crumble. For that guy, voting Republican - so he can keep his guns and hold on to his self-righteous anger - makes a lot of sense. It takes a lot to hold onto your ideology when your family's hungry.

Or maybe there's a third force at work here: the death of ideology. Does anyone really have any anymore? In the UK, Cameron certainly doesn't; Brown does, but nobody wants it; in the USA there doesn't seem to be any: all politics is just bread and circuses. I'll still hope Obama gets in, just for the warmth and humanity he might bring to the world stage. But I think the moment where it seemed likely has passed.

Exotic creatures found at country house

It's taken a long time to get here, but finally the story of the Cliveden Snails is uncovered!

It's a perfect story for silly season: a species of snail, common in southern Europe but unknown here, has been found in the balustrade of a famous British country house, the slimy denizens presumably hitching a lift when the balustrade was imported in the 19th century.

What I like about this story is the way the reporter plays the prose very, very close to the edge - "Over the years, the snails would have had the chance to witness a number of seminal moments in UK politics." Given the pond life that inhabits Whitehall and Westminster these days, it's hardly worth writing about...

In praise of useless sports

I'm struck by just how many events at the Olympics are in fundamentally ridiculous sports.

Now running, jumping, and cycling are all nominally useful activities - they keep you fit and get you places. But the number of 'silly' sports is getting, well, silly.

I mean, I've tried to be interested in the diving, I really have - and as a swimmer myself I should be more interested than most. But a huge event dedicated to .... jumping off a platform above a big pool of water and ... being able to hit it? Doesn't gravity play the main part in that? Now, a competition where you had to MISS the water - that'd take real skill, and would be something I'd tune into.

I can appreciate that it takes huge concentration and skill to do six triple backflips, three complete twists, and barbecue a hamburger while singing 'Evita' in the few seconds between jumping and splashing, but being penalised for 'making a splash' (you're entering WATER, dumbkopf) just seems silly.

And as an aside, the number of my adult female friends who are perving on 14-yr old Tom Daley is really bad. This is the same demographic that was slavering to see 17-yr old Harry Potter naked on the London stage a while back. Why is this supposed to be amusing, when if it happened in reverse there'd be an outcry? (Phwooooar, look at that 14yr old girl gymnast, guys! Whwoooar! See what I mean?)

And the contact sports like Tae Kwon Do. Britain's Sarah Stephenson had a protest this morning for... hitting her opponent. I mean, shouldn't the fighting sports at least involve, y'know, people actually hurting each other? Getting a red card when you manage it? Where's the sport in that?

Synchronised swimming is an easy target, but I had to mention this: apparently Hiromi Kobayashi of Japan had to be rescued by lifeguards yesterday after suffering breathing difficulties during her routine.(Does this mean all her teammates had to feign they were drowning as well? What's the etiquette in such situations?)

And try as I might, I cannot remember which sports are included in the pentathlon, heptathlon, and decathlon (which probably includes all of them) but there's bound to be plenty of useless ones. The pentathlon is prefaced by 'modern' because the Greek original included wrestling and a naked 100m dash - why on earth did they replace those things? It'd make it far more memorable.

Canoeing is borderline useful/useless - if you're ever stuck in the Canadian rockies I suppose a canoe might, occasionally, be useful, although it's not the sort of equipment you carry 'just in case' is it? However, Spain's David Cal, on winning silver in the 500m canoeing, promptly threw up on the platform, tipping it over the edge into the realms of the ridiculous. Perhaps this could be considered for 2012: competitive projectile vomiting.

I've wondered why most of the stadiums are half-empty. Perhaps it's got nothing to do with overzealous Chinese authorities; it's just that spectators have realised "Wow, you know what - this sport is really, really silly! Anyone know a good place for Dim Sum?"

And don't get me started on the WINTER Olympics. What is this 'luge' thing? Why not just call it 'sledging'? And add a twist of snowman-building at the end? Sport should be entertaining.

Perhaps this could be a motif for 2012 after the coming years of recession and poverty: a 'back to basics' Olympics, scratchy shirts and chalk marks on dirt floors (they won't be finished anyway) for a few sports that are actually useful activities, like running, swimming, and throwing things. Let's face it, we're not going to top that opening ceremony; maybe we should make a conscious stand against it.

French birds 'moving northwards'

Anyone who's lived in London over the last decade will confirm this news story about the increase in foreign birds:

"French birds are moving northwards in response to climate change, but not fast enough, scientists have found."

It's certainly true that French birds tend to slow down a bit when moving northwards; often they get stuck around London, with Bute St being their favourite roost. No arguing with this paragraph.

"Their data came from a large survey in which volunteers counted more than 105 species of bird."

105 species? Yeah, that sounds about right too. London is full of foreign birds: not only French, but Scandinavian, Polish, Czech, and Russian. They're everywhere!

"In the Royal Society journal Proceedings B, researchers say that the birds are lagging some 182km behind the increases in temperature."

Hmmm, well it's cold up north, and these birds generally prefer to nest in the warmer areas of Kensington and Chelsea. Maybe they just like the atmosphere there enough to stick around all winter, although most of them seem pretty keen to fly off to warmer climes if the offer's there.

"This lag may be of particular concern to rare birds or species that have very specific food requirements."

Right again: foreign birds aren't particularly rare in London, but you do sometimes see ones that stand out from the flock, and whose food requirements are indeed extremely strict, often limited to the Ivy or an occasional Fat Duck. I've got a pal whose Polish girlfriend says how difficult it is to get decent sausage in Fulham.

" "The flora and fauna around us are shifting over time due to climate change," said Vincent Devictor, who led the research project from the National Museum of Natural History (MNHN) in Paris."

Well, he'd know - with a name like 'Vincent the Victor' he's the preferred nesting mate of many of London's foreign birds: the name practically confirms ownership of an SLK at least. And while the increase in foreign birds in London seems permanent, few would refuse a quick trip to Paris and a look round the museums.

"The result is desynchronisation. If birds and the insects on which they depend do not react in the same way, we are headed for an upheaval in the interaction between species," he told the AFP news agency.

True again. I feel pretty 'desynchronised' with most of London's foreign birds, and the way they react to me is indeed different to ten years ago. I've found that quite an upheaval, indeed, with a big effect in my interactions with these species.

"Ben Sheldon from Oxford University, who also studies nature's response to rising temperatures, commented: "At any one site, the community of birds you find there has changed over time."

Well, an Oxford man would know. When the heat's on, the birds congregate at specific sites, but the community definitely changes over time - take Chinawhite, for example. Once it was inhabited by rare and beautiful birds; now it's all common Eastern European species with fake plumage.

"A recent study of great tits in England found they were coping well with rising temperatures, changing their egg-laying times in order to adapt to the earlier emergence of prey."

Some guys get all the best jobs. The temperatures in London this summer haven't really been high enough for those tits to emerge in their full glory, though, however early the guys go out to view them.

"The French team suggests more research on the issue is vital if better conservation options are to be developed."

A sentiment with which I heartily concur. Let's hear it for foreign birds!